(Maybe not so) happy endings (but necessary)

From all the things we learn in life, I think understanding the impossibility of eternity is one of the hardests.

Since the moment we are born, we are given certain things, some nice, some not so much. But I want to focus on the nice ones, because we think they'll never end. The first times, we actually believe it, because there's nothing to prove us wrong, but as the things that used to bring us joy start to disappear along with the simplicity of innocence that ignorance gives us, we start to see that the world isn't so bright and white; there are also greys and blacks.

But it isn't until we lose something with the significance in our lives needed to be who we are that we realize how unfair endings can be.

The problem is that we may scream, cry, and complain, but something that has ended, will probably stay that way. Changes are necessary for our world, we have to adapt, cut loosen endings, and give a makeover to our façades.

Since my favourite band broke up, I’ve been grieving about it (and let me tell you it has been over half a year now). What hurt me the most was that they ended the band without more explanations than feeling that it was over, and even if it had been such an amazing ride, they had to go on in their own paths or something like that. But the exact words are besides the point, what I mean to say is that just now I understand why they didn’t need any other reason but that it was over; when you can see the end of something you love, you have to accept it because if you push it a little more you might ruin it, and if you go on, trying to keep it alive, you might end up hating it. I personally think, that is better to end something with good memories than with bad ones.

I’m sure that if My Chemical Romance had gone on, making music just to please the fans, forgetting why they had started the band in the first place, the idea they were in the beginning would get ruined by the idea they’d become. The same would’ve happened if they had ended it before, because it wouldn’t have been enough, it would’ve been an unfinished business. And, anyway, if they ever feel there’s something they missed, they’ll get back together and make it right

Unhelpful is the only way I know

If you asked me if I'm fraid of the bad consequences that come from helping others
I'd ask you why did they took off the thorn from the paw of that lion
How did they know it wouldn't eat them afterwards
and the answer is simple, they didn't
They just cared about putting that lion out of it's pain
they could see it was harmed, and it hurted so much,
and I don't really know if they could solve their own problems all by themselves
but if they didn't as I do (well, actually don't), they though, maybe if they helped others it would give them the answers to help themselves
Neither I know, if they were sure that what they were doing would be helpful,
but I guess it was worth trying if there was a chance of being right
You may tell me to go and get a psychologist (or psychoanalyst, I don't know the difference or if there's one at all)
but I could also break chains with my bare hands and only buy books written in japanese when I don't know anything about the language
So here I am, still, helping mosnters that could devour me at any time, waiting for the solutions to fall from the skies

The risk of trying for once

For once I took the risk,
I never stopped listening
but I started trying other things
For once I answered and gave my opinion
for once I told you how I felt
People tell me it'll get better, I just gotta keep on
I've gotta try even more
I believed them... no, I still believe
but trust me it's fucking hard when everything turns to shit
I will not proclaim I'm the only one to feel this way
I will not say my life's worse than your's 'cos I ani't that kind of liar
Again I'll take the risk
maybe I'm just a fucking masochist
but I'm gonna try once again
Again, I'll never stop listening
but yet, I wanna keep answering
I wanna keep fucking up, falling and standing until I learn how to walk,
I don't need to learn to run, that's what I know the best
I'll scream if I need to
but I'll go on untill I beome somebody at last

Final Dot

Sometimes I just sit here for hours, starring at the screen
Maybe I'll do something, surf the internet, read some fanfiction, write some stuff, but really, I just do it to have an excuse to be here sitting in front of the screen, watching as the time goes by, and I'm waiting for something to happen, anything at all
Those are the moments when my mind starts wandering around; they become the reason why I always say I don't need to get high to have friky ideas, mind-blowing thoughts that later will just be some random shit 'cos I'm not spelling it out properly as I did the first time
If I want to keep te wanders of my mind for more than just a brief moment I have to write them down as they go through my brain, making me mostly ramble for hours, repeating the same thing over and over in all the possible ways, making myself believe I'm going somewhere with that
But I know better, so when they are over I know they are pointless. Regardless, I keep them. That's what this blog's here for anyway
But I won't put a final dot to my ramblings, 'cos that would be pretending they have an end; that would be lying
I'm not saying that I'm an angel who doesn't lye (ever), I'm saying that I won't lye to myself, specially not about this kind of stuff
Maybe some day I'll put a final dot to my ramblings. But that will be my last ramble 'cos I'm dramatic and I like it that way

These are (not) instrutions to kill dragons

Once upon a time, there was a little girl whose life was all about rainbows, pink and fantasy. She would watch movies and read books where their characters had amazing adventures, and soon her dream became having an adventure like them.

What she didn’t know, was that that dream would eventually become her doom. That’s because, I shall say in case you hadn’t noticed, as we grow up, that magic world that adults create around us to protect us from the pains of life since the moment we are born, slowly fades away.

To most kids, as they grow up, it’s hard at first, but they eventually let go. She couldn’t, the pain that trying to forget about those wonderful worlds were causing was too much to bear to her, so she started to read and watch more.  And with every book, every movie, every TV show, it’d become harder. Her soul was falling slowly apart, and she didn’t notice until it was too late.

You may think that it isn’t that bad clinging to your dreams during elementary school, and that’s probably right, but if you don’t let go when you get to secondary school, it becomes a problem. As the years passed her soul kept falling painfully slow, being that weak and lonely hope of achieving her dreams the only thin still hanging.

I would say how this story ends, but I don’t know. Maybe she’ll keep holding on until death comes for her, maybe she’ll eventually get to achieve her dreams, maybe she’ll try to achieve her dreams but won’t get to do it, maybe the pain will be too hard, and even though she promised herself long ago she’d keep holding on, and will end it herself. But I know she’ll definitely try to go on until it’s literally impossible.

Plot Twist

We are so used to be ourselves even if we're trying to be somebody else, but that's not the point, that we can not imagine ourselves being somebody else; we can imagine us being in the place of the other, but never stoping from being us.
Let me explain a bit further: try to get in my place, and if you know me enough, with more or less effort you'll can, right? Now, try to imagine you are me and I'm you, but if that's the case you wouldn't be you, you would be me, as I'm you. Too diffcult? not enough yet? ok., I'll go on, if I was you, I'd be able to think what you think, know your darkest secrets feeling a bit invaded already?, but you'd be alright with it, as I'd be alright with you knowing every little thing about me, feeling everything I feel, after all, as I'm you and you're not you, your thoughts are mine and mine are yours, but yours aren't yours and mine aren't mine... now it did get confusing, right?, don't worry, I'll keep talking and maybe you'll get it.
So, how is it possible to have another mind, not be able to think what you think just because they are not your thoughts but somebody else's (in the example mine) , and you've got somebody else's thoughts , when they are actually not somebody else's thoughts, they are yours 'cause you are not you, and somebody else is you with the thoughts and mind once or never belonged to you.

I'd like to thank you for reading, me.